11 steps towards accepting your Mental illness

I often get asked, “how did you accept that you have BPD?”. There is no simple answer to this as everyone’s life history and values are different. However, through reflecting there are some things that I know that has helped me accept that I have this chronic illness. The Past:When my doctor first suggested the term out depression I freaked. I thought no, he is … Continue reading 11 steps towards accepting your Mental illness

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A letter to all of those suffering in silence

Ever since I was little, I was surrounded by information and news and discussions around physical health and physical illness. I heard about diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, stroke, weight loss, weight gain, an endless list. Why did I never hear these same discussions being had about mental health and mental illness? Continue reading A letter to all of those suffering in silence

My distress checklist for Carers, Partners, Family and Friends

Being in a relationship with someone who has BPD is hard. It requires a lot of thinking on your feet. A lot of open communication and forgiveness on both sides.
I frequently get angry at my husband when he says or does something that is triggering for me. It takes a lot of trial and error to work out those triggers. It takes understanding that “silly triggers” such as him “slamming the microwave door” can send me into the flight, fight or freeze mode. In these situations, my husband and I use this framework to know what to do next. I have also sent this framework to several loved ones so they too are knowledgeable in helping someone in distress. Continue reading My distress checklist for Carers, Partners, Family and Friends

When you judge me, do you judge you?

Judement is such as easy thing to do. I would say it is an automatic thought that helps us feel better about ourselves at the expense of another. Often this judgement comes from people who are suffering and see themselves poorly. How do I know? Because I was a judger. I judged everything and everyone. Partly my anxiety makes me think the world hates me. … Continue reading When you judge me, do you judge you?